The following bloopers were excerpted from real
Church Bulletins from all over the United States.

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help!
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
• Miss Charlene Mason Sang, "I Shall Not Pass This Way Again", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 am,. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
• The sermon this morning:........Jesus walks on the Water
   The sermon tonight:.................Searching for Jesus
• Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church:
  Name:....................Bertha Belch.
  Announcement:.....Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa
• Church sign:....................................Jesus Saves!
  Safeway sign across the street:.........Safeway saves you more!
• Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday:  "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."